Do you sometimes feel as though you have too much stuff? Do you dread asking your kids to clean up their toys? Do you get stressed out at even the thought of cleaning up the toys in one room? So do I. Even with our limited toy selection, I still feel like we have too many toys!
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The realization
We went on a trip to Mexico for over a month and we hardly brought toys with us. Our son was almost 4.5, our older daughter almost 3 and our youngest was about 13 months. For our trip we brought the following:
- 1 Barbie that our daughter had just got for Christmas
- 5 small Barbie like dolls
- 5 small animals
- My son brought 5 books of his choice
- My daughter brought 1 book
- Each kid brought one stuffed animal
- Markers
- Pens (they were actually mine but I shared)
- Crayons
- A notebook for each older kid
- A boogie board for each kid
Our kids were never board. We spent many mornings hanging out at the Airbnb that had no toys or games and our kids were happy. They never complained about not having anything to do. They played together well and made up fun games to pass the time.
While we were on our trip I kept marveling at how well they did. How content they were. Towards the end of our trip our kids did start asking about specific other toys at home. For my son it was his water wow and for my daughter it was her other Barbie. Both were new gifts from Christmas a few weeks before we left for Mexico.
When we returned home I was determined to recreate less toys and the joy my kids had playing with so little. So I got to work decluttering. I thought through which toys my kids play with the most and which ones get left behind. I also thought about the quantity of each item. We had literally hundreds of shopkins, too many legos, too much play food, too many hot wheels, and too many play dough cutters.
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The pre-existing toy system
For many of these things it took too long for my kids to put the toy away. I have a rule I adopted from my time as a pre-k aide – one toy/activity out at a time. My kids have to put away what they are currently playing with to get something new out. So when my son wants to stop coloring and work on a puzzle he has to put all his markers away and then he can get out the puzzle. When my daughter wants to switch from playing with Barbie’s and play with the tea set instead, she has to put all the Barbie’s away and then she can get out the tea set. It has worked great for my family and my own sanity, but even with this method, it still feels like too much.
In addition to their activities there is a small basket with toys that don’t fit into the other categories such as chewy toys, the heeler family, the cocomelon family, and some Mickey Mouse characters, as well as some larger cars, balls, and other odds and ends.
Overwhelm
Often when my daughter was playing with play food in particular, she would complain that she was “too tired” to put it away and now I think it was more of a feeling of overwhelm that she may have been feeling, but she was interpreting it as tiredness since she didn’t have the word for overwhelm. Looking back at that feeling of overwhelm I understand how she feels and it makes more since how my daughter, who loves to put things in their place, (I know strange for a toddler) seemed to really struggle with the idea of putting away certain activities.
Books
For books I’ve almost always had a rotation. I have 5 tubs that I change out every day or so. Sometimes it ends up being every week or more. But when I get a new set of books out my kids are drawn to it. They ask to read some of the books often. They’re interested in the books that seem new since they have been away for a while.
We also have one bookshelf with books that are always available. These are books with multiple stories or ones that are educational.
Downsizing
I started out slowly taking one or two activities at a time and closely looking at what was in the set. I thought about which toys my kids gravitated towards. I processed how much time they were spending cleaning up and how much time I was spending cleaning up with or after them. I chose to keep items that my kids loved, that they always wanted to play with, and the items that seemed to be thrown to the wayside I chose to part with. For legos I had a box size limit – when the legos wouldn’t fit in the box there is too many, I went from a 27 qt box to an 12 qt box.
I got rid of 2 huge boxes of books that we as a family don’t like. Books tend to sneak into our home more than toys do and I go through all of our books to downsize about every 3-6 months.
When downsizing my kids toys I did not ask them which toys they wanted to keep or get rid of. I didn’t do this because when we had asked my son which stuffed animals he wanted to part with he said none of them when he was 3 and that traumatized me from asking their opinions on it. I also know that they tend to want to keep everything, the rock or stick they found outside, every coloring page they drew a line on, or even a large sprinkle pearl that should have been eaten long ago.
When downsizing some of their stuff previously they rarely ask for anything I had gotten rid of. Sometimes I will even hide the items for months before I actually get rid of them to see if their interest in the toys is sparked again. If I don’t hear anything about the items I have purged, I will proceed to donate or pass them on.
I saw immediate results!
After I got rid of 7 of our puzzles my son finally started looking at the puzzles again and played with a few for a couple of days instead of coloring. After I got rid of some of the play food, my older daughter didn’t complain that she was too tired to clean it up. My littlest one even started cleaning up activities when she was done with them and ready for something new. All of my kids were set up for success and great opportunities to play.
